Lice!

Okay, let me start with this: WE DON'T HAVE IT!

Last night, I think I truly lost my mind. No joke, Tony looked at me like I was a retarded dork. I was, but let me back up & explain why...
See, I've been subbing at the grade school for the last 3 days & yesterday at the end of the day, the school secretary comes into my classroom & hands me a note that says, "Someone in your class has lice." WHAT!??! Immediately, I started itching. Clawing myself is more like it. "Who?" I begged. Then here's the DUMBEST part: They won't tell me! I'm sitting here teaching 22 students who are all 6 years old. I'm tying their shoes. I'm zipping their coats. I'm fixing their barrettes when they fall out of their hair. I'm getting hugged every two seconds. And they WON'T tell me who to avoid? RUDE! And not in a RUUD way, I might add... I was so bugged. But luckily not "bugged" in a lice way.
The secretary informed me that a nurse would be coming in tomorrow to check EVERY ONE'S head, including mine. Oh, the humiliation! The horror! What if I had it? I was SO SCARED! Anywhoo~ when I got home from the school, I ran STRAIGHT into the bathroom. I took off all my clothes and refused to put them into the dirty hamper (if they had lice on them, it might SPREAD!) I stripped all the blankets & pillows off my bed and did a 3 hour sanitize cycle in the washing machine. Yes, I said 3 hours. On HOT. That had to cost an arm and a leg. I got in the shower (like THAT would really help) and washed my hair again and again and again. When I got out of the shower, I didn't want to sit on the couch in case I had it and it might spread to my couches. I wouldn't sit on my bed in case I had it and it spread to the wonderful mattress I have on my bed. I refused to make dinner in case it was on my hands and I accidentally fed lice to my family. Or worse, what if I ATE IT?!? In fact, I tore the basement food storage area apart and found a plastic shower cap. I figured that if my head were covered in saran-wrap, I couldn't spread it. I was a MESS! Tony had checked my hair as soon as he saw my frantic stripping act in the bathroom (I know what you are thinking, but no, the whole lice thing kept him from liking that moment...) & told me I didn't have it, but I was too paranoid to believe him. But amidst his laughing, he did manage to sneak a picture of me on his cell phone with my head all wrapped in a plastic shower cap. I'll DIE if it ever gets out.
Okay, so fast-forward to today. First thing this morning, they hauled everyone down to a supply closet and took everyone in, one at a time, and checked heads. I was SO RELIEVED to find out that NO ONE HAD IT! The kid that had it was home (there were several kids absent, but I think my detective work figured out which kid it was...) & won't be allowed back for 7 to 10 days or something like that. Oh, I'm so incredibly grateful we didn't catch it! And if my picture ever shows up of me in a plastic shower cap, I'm TOTALLY saying that it is my brother, Ben, since we look EXACTLY alike when I have no make-up on and my hair is short! :)